x. name =xiujuan
x. birthday = 151186
x. piercings = on my ear? yeah. either two or three lorr. maybe four? but dun think so.
x. tattoos = nonee..
x. height = 173!
x. shoe size = ranges. from 7-10! ahah
X. hair colour = unfortunately.. black. :(
x. length = shoulder length
x. siblings = 2 bros. i'm da oldest..
x. pets = one tt died.. my dearest hamsie!


last...
x. movie you rented = i dont rent movies..
x. movie you bought = frm hk lor. went tonys vcds and my dads wu jian dao. and my bros lao fu zi. and my irresistable piggies.
x. song you listened to = no me ames... j lo feat marc anthony..
x. song that was stuck in your head = my chinese version of winter sonata!!!
x. song you've downloaded = i nv dl songs anymroe.. is my frens send me one..
x. cd you bought = i DO NOT want to ans this.
x. cd you listened to = believe it or not. the ij cd. haha!
x. person you've called = err. wen.
x. person that's called you = my bro.
x. tv show you've watched = wei xiao bao!
x. person you were thinking of = err.. act i dunno.. nv keep track of my tots.


do...
x. you have a bf or gf = no.
x. you have a crush on someone = no.
x. you wish you could live somewhere else = yeahh. in america last time. and sometimes now.
x. you think about suicide = yahh.
x. you believe in online dating = nope.
x. others find you attractive = no.
x. you want more piercings = guess i miss having more earholes? yeahh. tongue stud! but err. i cant eat chilli for a while if i dun have it right?!
x. you want more tattoos = no.
x. you drink = err. remy martin!
x. you do drugs = no.
x. you smoke = nah
x. you like cleaning = yuckk.
x. you like roller coasters = yeah
x. you write in cursive or print = print i guess.
x. you carry a donor card = ...obv not.

-
no one ever said love was easy
but did it have to be so difficult
when it came to us
so many times i tried to hold on
to the strong bonds of love
that somehow held us together.
giving up nv felt so tempting
was it that i wasnt always there
was it that i dint give you enough
was it that i wasnt strong enough to hold on.
and that i was too afraid to try it again.
in the short time when there was a we.
we weathered so much.
our bond under so much strain.
no one could tear us apart.
but we did it ourselves.
my darling angel.
i still miss you.
-

since the beginning of time
since it started to rain
since i heard you laugh
since i felt your pain
i was too young
you were much younger
we were afraid of each other's hunger
i have always loved you
there's nv been anyone else
i knew you before I knew myself
oh my baby
i have always loved you
since we kissed the first time
since we slept on the beach
you were too close for comfort
you were too far out of reach
you walked away
i shld have held you
wld you have stayed for me to tell you
i have always loved you
there's nv been anyone else
i knew you before I knew myself
oh my baby
i have always loved you
years go by in a matter of days
and though we go separate ways
i nv stop dreaming of you
i have always loved you
and when you call it makes me cry
we never made time for you and i
if i could live it all again
i'd never let it end
i'd still be with you
oh God i miss you
i have always loved you
there's never been anyone else
i knew you before
i knew myself
oh my baby
i have always loved you
yrs go by in a matter of days
and though we go separate ways
i nv stop dreamin of you
i have always loved you

mmm. tried to run 2.4 todayy.. but umm... started walking aftre 2nd round or after 3rd round.. argh. i dunno. everythings kinda hazy right noww. yeahh. my knee still hurts when i run too much?! like wth. its been 5 mths liao right. urghh. umm then took height and weight.. i got 2kg heavier! i'm terrified horrified shock-ified and wahtever else. i'm like 59.2kg!!!!!! arghh. DIET. sigh.. then was heartbroken at first. tot i was gonna be 100% then luckily i grew taller by one cm! so i'm borderline in 90%!!! happy! then my ct told me she havent registered me or pauline for detention yet. then i can dont hafat stay back liao!! hope at least she'll be detentioning with me. i dont wanna be alone.. umm yahh. so was let off at 1250 cus lit teacher said cancel todays lesson. and for econs tutorial. mr lee said our class was farther ahead. so he let us not have lessons. SO NICE. and he apologised for losing his temper in lect today.

haha. umm. then after tt went down to wens place there play ball. more like watch lah. at first raining like dunno what crap. nv stop kind. then played bridge. then umm. sab rach chuns came. ny's tie is super ugly lor. yuckk. then umm. went to hawker center to eatt. then umm. oh i forgot to say who's there. wen huat joel wilson. plus the 3 or them lah. yah. durign the whole lunch. chunsi was being super lame and super dumb lorr. then kept laughing at her. then they mixed curry suger prawn mee soup mee soto chilli bandung etc and then played this no. game. rach kena twice so suay. wen once. huat once. sab once. but sabs is like hafta drink the whole thing. wen guessed one of the no.s i chose correctly! so smart of her.... then err. went back to the courts. yeahh. stayed ard for a while then rach went back then chuns went back then abby came. yeahh. then sab me joel went back.

i fell aslp on the bus and almost missed my stop today lorr. and tt idiot joel dint even say bye when he got off the bus. idiot... luckily i smart enuff to wake up! haha!

if this is the best ending for us
then why are you still on my mnd
time has changed us.
and stripped us of our innocence.
if we're still unable to stay together
despite getting back with each other
the only forever we'll have
is in separation.
punish me for being serious
and for my naivity

dont tell me i have to live my life this way for ever
when the one i love will nv be in it
from the beginning until now
i have been waiting for you
and yet, its still impossible
dont tell me love can be taken from one person
and given to another
but destiny has decreed that i cant keep you by my side
i dont know how i can admit
that you are not the one i should have loved.

if we meet again only to part
the only forever will be in our separation
one more new memory
why do we have to part again

what can i do
i nv thot tt to prove my love for you
i'd hafta be cruel to be kind

dont tell me i have to live my life this way for ever
when the one i love will nv be in it
from the beginning until now
i have been waiting for you
and yet, its still impossible
dont tell me love can be taken from one person
and given to another
but destiny has decreed that i cant keep you by my side
i dont know how i can admit
that i loved the wrong person..


sighh. i translated the song. sry if my chi and eng sucks... arghh. but i love the lyrics. :/

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

did wens thing again too. arghh. i like got worse.. now i got two highs!!!! so idiott.. mmm. went to queensway shopping center today with wen sab huat jeremy kiak. chunsi! i bet you're regretting you nv go right. haha! umm then went ikea.. then sab wen and me went back to st nicks to meet neo and kang.. aiyorrr.. i like vj's uniform!!!! but sa's uniform is not bad too! yeahh. :/ then umm. i'm at joels house now...then rach and szu stupidly went back too early. SO idiot lorr. then neo and kang came up for a while then went back liaooo.. going back ltr too.. yahh. i got hw tonight leh!! hahhaaa!! i'm gonna do it and be a guai kia!! and i got detention tmr.. SIGH. so sad. :(

ru guo zhe shi zui hao de jie ju
wei he wo hai wang bu liao ni
shi jian gai bian le wo men gao bie le dan chun
ru guo chong feng ye wu fa ji xu
shi qu cai suan shi yong heng
cheng fa wo de ren zhen
shi wo tai guo tian zhen

nan dao wo jiu zhe yang guo wo yi sheng
wo de wen zhu ding wen bu dao zui ai de ren
wei ni deng cong yi kai shi deng dao xian zai
ye tong yang luo de bu ke neng
nan dao ai qing ke yi zhuan jiao gei bie ren
dan ming yun zhu ding liu bu zhu wo ai de ren
wo bu dong wo zen me hui yuan yi cheng ren
ni shi wo bu gai ai de ren

ru guo zai jian shi wei le zai fen
shi qu cai suan shi yong heng
yi ci xin de ji yi wei he yao zai sheng

nan dao wo jiu zhe yang guo wo yi sheng
wo de wen zhu ding wen bu dao zui ai de ren
wei ni deng cong yi kai shi deng dao xian zai
ye tong yang luo de bu ke neng
nan dao ai qing ke yi zhuan jiao gei bie ren
dan ming yun zhu ding liu bu zhu wo ai de ren
wo bu dong wo zen me hui yuan yi cheng ren
ni shi wo bu gai ai de ren

na shen me zuo zhen
cong wei xiang guo ai yi ge ren
xu yao na me can ren cai zheng ming ai de shen

nan dao wo jiu zhe yang guo wo yi sheng
wo de wen zhu ding wen bu dao zui ai de ren
wei ni deng cong yi kai shi deng dao xian zai
ye tong yang luo de bu ke neng
nan dao ai qing ke yi zhuan jiao gei bie ren
dan ming yun zhu ding liu bu zhu wo ai de ren
wo bu dong wo zen me hui yuan yi cheng ren
ni shi wo ai cuo le de ren

.... tmr supp to go back stnicks. then wen said she forgot then like super duper mian qiang dowanna go back st nicks. like.. err.. planned it since last week or earlier lehh. ahh. so idiot. sigh. hope the four of us will still be going backk. if not kena pangsehed for the second straight week!!! :(

for or against
x. long distance relationships = against. no point putting your relationship to the test when its not strong enuff yet?
x. using someone = depends...
x. suicide = for...
x. killing people = against. strongly against.
x. teenage smoking = against..
x. doing drugs = against..
x. premarital sex = for. i feel qte strongly for this. yeahh. haha.
x. driving drunk = against.
x. gay/lesbian relationships = for.. for obv reasons.
x. soap operas = anythingg

favourite
x. gum= bubble! haha
x. tv show =umm. right now? i like to watch wei xiao bao and umm. nickelodean! i'm childish. i know.
x. thing in the world = sleep.com.hp
x. thing to collect = nothing....
x. colors of all time = pinkk.
x. thing to do on a rainy day = slp in...
x. feeling in the world = after you wake up from a super shuang nite of slp!
x. food = umm. all kinds of soups!!
x. song = umm. none right noww... maybe thw chinese version of the winter sonata thing.
x. thing to do = slacking ard. shopping. sleeping?
x. thing to talk about = gossippy crap. i dunno.
x. sports = spectator
x. drinks = milk! milo!
x. clothes = ahh. umm. i like burberry clothes! umm. but its abit out of my budget leh. umm. mango? m)phosis... i guess.
x. picture = me and daphh.
x. movies = err.. i dunno. all abt the same.
x. bands = no onee.. but i jus heard some songs from 50 cent. they're qte good. go listen k?
x. holiday = nov and dec hols!
x. cars = err... lotus! i tot i was one of a kind.. now everyone likes it too...:(


what
x. shampoo do you use = vidal sassoon mix with head and shoulders!
x. perfume do you use =err.. deep red. my cheap moschino smell. crave and oceanus!
x. shoes do you wear = my newest nike shoe which is qte old to sch. and m)phosis slippers to go out.
x. are you scared of = insecti'm qte gutless... so alot of stuff


number
x. of times I have been in love? umm. once.. :/
x. of times I have had my heart broken? once..
x. of hearts I have broken? hahass.. i dunnoo..
x. of boys I have kissed? errr.. i decided not to ans.
x. of girls I have kissed? this one too.
x. of men I've slept with? this one too.
x. of girls I've slept with? this one too.
x. of continents I have lived in? one
x. of drugs taken illegally? zero
x. of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? zero
x. of people I consider my enemies? zero
x. of people from high school that I stayed in contact with? err... sec sch ah. loads...
x. of cd's that I own? qte very few! haha
x. of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? once! umm. it was in some magaziney thing.. cus of my bro last time y'see..when he was in p6. i dunno why got my name too. :/
x. of scars on my body? quite a lot
x. of things in my past that I regret? alott.. dont wanna elaborate..

ummm find some stuff and people too confusing for my taste now. urghh. so terrible.. *sigh* why is everything soo weird..... :( i hate sch. i hate to try harder to be earlier everyday. but i dont wanna get suspended. ughh. i hate people to fuck me up more. -screams-

went to sch. early. got my econs text. damn heavy lehh. dint slp in sch much i think. dunno if i slpt at all... :/ went to play bball at wens place there.. jeremy gave sab one of his hamsters... eeee.. it has red eyes lorr. so yuckks. :/ and i jus realised that hamsters are cheap! hahaa super cheap lorr.. but if i buy i'll buy back the winter white pearl hamsie...

mmm. this is to joel..
ehh.. i found out the name of the song i like.. but its the korean version one.. help me find the chinese one lehh. umm. ryu - from the beginning til now. or smth similar.. yahh.
umm and help me dl these songs.

3T - From Now Until Forever
98 Degrees - Because of You
98 Degrees - Heaven Is Missing An Angel
A1 - If You Were My Girl
All-4-One - Not Ready For Goodbye
BBMak - Out Of My Heart (Into Your Head)
Boyz II Men - End of the Road
Brandy - Have You Ever?
Jagged Edge - Nothing Without You
Monica & Brandy - Boy Is Mine
N Sync - If Only In Heavens Eyes
Red Hot Chilli Peppers - By The Way
Vertical Horizon - Best I Ever Had

umm.. thanks k.. when i come online.. send it to me horr.. :)

mmm.. changed my template again.. i think the stickman thing is cute lorr.. except.. its a like rejection.. yahh... so the cute stickman is like quite ke lian.. yahh. :/ mmm. have been using the com for like 2 and a half hrs liao.. so happy.. so long nv use the com for a decent period of time liao.. sighh.. but i'm seriously dammit drowsy and slpy lehh.. like talkin rubbish liaoo.. :/ arghh. and tmr got nth to do.. can slp lah.. but for the rest of the day lehh.. :( i kinda like sundays and kinda dont like sundays.. *sigh* so suckyy.. :/ i think i'm seriously damn crap now.. sigh. i wan joels computer.. so i can watch movie all the time then wont be bored.. :/ and i want wens coms songs.. so no matter what song i wanna hear. i'll bet i can find it in her com lor. my com has no music.. no movies one.. so sian.. :/ ohh and i want wens coms mitm shows.. ohh and anyone know whens charlies angels 2 coming out? i wanna watch lorr.. :)

umm.. went to sports day at first.. romanis is act not bad.. yahh.. got first for the b finals and second for a finals i thinkk. no thanks to me.. haha. then went home.. then went to bishan to meet joel. but was kena cheated. puii. then went town to meet the rest. but everyone was late. then kiak came. then julia came. walked ard abit. bot new top. then went cine.. met wen sab chun huat and joel there. the idiot joel. superrr ass lor. went to edo and eat. but only me and wen ate there in the end.. everyone else.. no money..... umm. then bot tickets for anger management. basically its a funny show. except its draggy. yahh. :/then went lido for dinner and up and down. yah. played bridge then went home liao... yeahh. :)

mmm. made new template again.. :/ sighh. i miss having my com at my disposal all the time.. urghh. puii. yeah. went to seoul garden today. then museum.. yeahh.. then went home.. nth much. sigh. i hate school SO much. i'm prob getting suspended soon for being late six times.. or maybe seven soon. what crap right. sigh.

got to use the com for a while. happu dayy!! err.. oh yahh.. new template. too lazy to do linking in the geocities page right now.. so jus see it here if you wan.. here!

yayy! i jus updated my templates site.. made 3 mroe templates.. alrdy used two.. still got one unused... if you're free then go see it okay??

ARE YOU...
[Understanding] not really..
[Open-minded] yahh quite.. except. i dun like people to smoke in front of me... you wanna smoke then dont blow smoke in my face lah. yahh.
[Arrogant] hahah sometimes lehh. yah.
[Insecure] quite too...
[Interesting] absolutely definitely not.. haha
[Random] i dun get this too.
[Hungry] not reallyyy. ate quite alot todayy..
[Friendly] no...
[Smart] nope.
[Moody] yes.
[Childish] err.. i dun think so...
[Independent] nope. i depend on people ard me qte alot i guess.
[Hard working] haha not really too..
[Organized] noo...
[Healthy] of course... not.. i have sars. dint you knoww..
[Emotionally Stable] most of the time..
[Shy] sometimes abit lahh.
[Difficult] difficult in what sense lehh...
[Attractive] no..
[Bored Easily] haha yahh...
[Messy] duhhh...
[Thirsty] nooo...
[Responsible] noo...
[Obsessed] haha not really...
[Angry] noo..
[Sad] noo..
[Happy] not really....
[Hyper] noo... why they nv ask if i'm scared! i am lor!!
[Trusting] nope..

mm. had sch in the morning.. yahh. to clean the classrms. then went to bishan to meet joel then we went to town for breakfast.. at yoshinoya.. then went to shop for yr's present.. i also bot slippers and comics.. after tt went to marches to eat.. then on the way to meet huat.. saw wen neo sab and sam and cldds frens. yahh.. wen said i look like sailormoon again. and she said i was blushing.. super dot dot dot.. yahh. then met huat went to delifrance to eat. then umm. walked ard abit went to bk to eat.. yr and her jonathon came to meet us... went to her place togetherr. yahh. then umm. they were super qing mi on the bus lorr... then huat and joel were like gay pair.. make me feel so lamppost!! hahah.. umm then i think 8 people in all squeezed into one merc.. hahah suepr cramped lorr.. yr cldnt sit on jons lap cus her dad was driving.. so sad horr.. umm then joel sat on huats lap.. gay pair.. yahh. and i am not jealous okayy. yahh. then umm wen neo sab chuns came. and qilin and some other guys.. yahh. ate meesiam and pizza.. played cluedo.. yahh. then ate cake and went home. yahh on the way back huat told us this iq thing.. yahh. eeyerr.. creeped me out totally lorr.. then on the way back i scared myself summore... i'm so super gutless. puii.

ohh and i'm a lil bit sry for slapping joel so many times todayy yahh. cus he qte nice lah.. help carry my stuff for almost the whole day.. yahh. altho he deserved it for keep punching me. i said this soo many times liaoo.. how can a guy punch a girl!?! and dont say cus i'm not a girl okay!!!

mmm. dint go anywhere the whole day. saved money! ahaha.. i made money too.. 1.50... yahh cus went to ntuc with my mom.. then i went to foodcourt to buy some hakka yam stuff tt i like.. yahh. so she gave me 5 bucks. it was 3.50.. so i pocketed the chg.. yahh. then umm. i bot toto for the first time in my life!! my god.. i'm such a law breaker! -gasps horrifiedly- hahahaha.. okayy i'm talking rot again. yahh i bot some stuff to eat.. more shampoo ice cream frozen pizzas chips instant noodles pads yahh.. so siann.. mmm. sighh then tmr going to sch to clean up the sch... what crap lorr. too poor to employ cleaners. my teacher said tt lorr.. the sch got no money... yuckk. puii.

THREE THINGS I LOVE
01 - the com
02 - the tv
03 - and umm money? i dunno



THREE THINGS I HATE
01 - when my com hangs?
02 - when i kena cheated or when people lie to me?
03 - feeling alone which is qte often nowadays.. puii.



THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND
01 - why is there life on earth..
02 - why i always wanna eat and slp..
03 - why is everyone soo fake.



THREE THINGS ON MY DESK
01 - st nicks ois sajc's papers and notes.. i keep so many stuff.. so guai right.
02 - presents frm daph...
03 - bags.. makeup.. clothes.. hair clips..



THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW
01 - listening to kenny loggins.. whoever tt is.. for the first time... :)
02 - eating some yam thing.. super yummy!!!
03 - doing this quiz thing lorr.



THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
01 - fly to the moon..
02 - go bungee jumping and sky diving into the grand canyon
03 - not study as much as i can..



THREE THINGS I CAN DO
01 - sleep
02 - eat
03 - play com...



THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY
01 - lazy. in everyway.. even the way i walk is super lazy. haha.
02 - bored..
03 - multi-faceted! hahha. i dunno what other word to use lah.



THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY LOOKS
01 - tall. 172
02 - fat and ugly.
03 - err. wen. better purer chinese than like me.. malay indian and dunno what shit. at least you're somehow chinese right.



THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO
01 - know everything tt's gonna happen. and it makes everything harder.
02 - lose weight
03 - hold you til i die. til we both break dwn and cry. cant hold you til the fear in me subsides. or vice versa.



THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO
01 - anything you want. except avril.
02 - as i said.
03 - look above..



THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER
01 - as i said. look above! or below..
02 - avril lavigne
03 - .......



THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST
01 - err.
02 - haha
03 - sighh.



THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS
01 - soups.
02 - icecreams..
03 - chilli-ish stuff i guess.



THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY
01 - milo
02 - milk
03 - yogurt drinks!



THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN
01 - how to not slp so much. but still feel awake.
02 - how to burn sajc down and kill all the teachers without getting found out. i dun hate sa.. nor the teacher. but i jus dowanna go sch.
03 - OR learn how to spread sars ard without getting sars.



THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID
01 - batman
02 - xmen
03 - spiderman.. why got no superhero woman one... all man!!!!!!!!!



THREE SHOWS YOU WATCH NOW
01 - nickelodeans cartoons...
02 - mtv.
03 - friends



THREE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS ( cum CLOSE FRIENDS )
01 - i guess wen neo esta kang sara.. i dunno also leh.
02 - err yah.. actually. very long nv see them liao.
03 - so i dunno. i got no frens one lah..



THREE OF THE BEST SONGS
01 - right now its. the kenny guys song for the first time
02 - sometimes when we touch.
03 - why. [are we still frens]



THREE OF THE BEST MOVIES
01 - cant really rememberr. umm. spirit. stallion of the cimarron. very cute..
02 - comedies! johnny english? very lame...
03 - aiyorr. i dunno lah. all abt the same.



THREE THINGS YOU WISH THEY KNEW
01 - who is the they?
02 - umm. know how i feel. cus smth's cant be spelt out..
03 - the truth.



THREE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU CRY
01 - sad songs and shows
02 - memories of you... //i''d always tot tt i'd laugh looking back at the times we cried. but i nv tot tt i cry looking back at the times we laughed// sighh.
03 - angry until cry. yahh.



THREE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SMILE
01 - when people crack lame jokes and act lamely
02 - frens and my mom sometimes i guess. yahh.
03 - when i'm not so much in a suicidal mood and i think of happy memories.



THREE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU LAUGH
01 - frens.
02 - who do stupid and lame things.
03 - and say lamer things.



THREE WISHES YOU WOULD MAKE
01 - turn back time.
02 - to have as many wishes as i want. forever. infinite no.
03 - and have all the wishes i make become reality..

mmm. super tired these days. sigh. i got sch on sat lor. so super unfair. hafta clean the sch up. puii. another sch tt got no money to employ cleaners.. jus like st nicks. then 730 - 9 lor. its so damn early. what am i gonna do at 9am in the morning right. and my mom dont let me pon. shdnt have told her i had sch in the first place. idiot woman. i wanna fall sick on sat. idiot. yahh. today went for project work lec late cus i went to see the teacher who scolded my ydae. then cldnt find my class.. and everyone was staring at me lor. so paiseh. then ltr zaoed geog lec with weiyang and frens. did i mention this before.. candice and her frens dun ever zao any lectures at all?! wth.. umm but found out tt teacher was absent again and the lec was cut short... and took a short nap in the canteen.. then went for civics.. damn sian got my timetable liao. sucky man.. SIGH. then max came to crash sa to pei wo for the last lec. econs. had to buy econs textbk. i dint pay for it yet. sigh. this sucks lorr. i decided that its not tt i wanna go poly. but its tt i dowanna study. yahh. we zaoed halfway to take photo for my teacher.. i looked like dunno what shit. pui. then we went back to sch to give the photo to teacher cabbed dwn to town and went to starhub center to get sim card for his sis. then went to look for prawn mee for lunch. in the end settled for laksa. then went to ps to watch movie.. but went to food court cus max hafta eat too. yahh. then he went to buy tickets before eating.. dunno when did i fall aslp.. but was super tired.. then after tt when i finally woke up julia joel and shawn were there liao. yahh. i stole joels chocolate jelly thing.. and ate almost the whole tube by myself.. such a pig right. then we went to send max hp to repair bot long johns stuff and went to watch johnny english. its funny yahh.. and lame.. not bad.. everyone shd watch it. got some very stupid things in the show.. yahh. then went to collect max hp. shawn went to meet his fren. walked ard abit.. julia saw alot of her frens then like so excited. then umm. she went home early and max went for his training. joel and i went back to bishan to have dinner. finally had prawn mee at j8 food court. and joel hit me lor!! he punched me! two times i think. how can a guy hit a girl right. pui. so violent. :( yahh. then we went home after tt.. yahh. sigh am super broke now.

mmm. came home. super suay today had to kena scolded by the bloody fierce san ba from sa. pui. dyeing my hair now.. bet its gonna be balck ltr.. so sad lor. :( zaoed sch at 10 to go play ball.. only huat was dere.. :/ then joel came. played cards. then wen came then max an julia came. went to have lunch then went to play. played agaisnt some sec girls. sprained my finger lorr.. but its better! yahh.. i can type qte well lor.. yah. was qte even somehow.. as in the game lah. cus maybe i too damn slack. yahh. then ltr played cards again. then went home. went to supermarket with joel again.. think i was soo super tired until i seh liao and talk rubbish. then joel sent me home cus i was seh. yahh.. qte nice of him right. :/ i was soo damn tired... SIGH. i need slp. stupid sa. :(

things to do.
- be responsible. so my mom can fang xin de send me abroad after poly.. if i cmi to singapore u. yahh.. :/

ohh jus checked my mail.. esta sent this mail.. hehhehhh! i'm proud to say i dint kill beethoven.. and i chose winston churchill to be the prez! wheee! i made the right choices!!! :)

mmmm. created new template after learning how to make this gradient table thing. yahh. look here.. -->template<--

mmm. zaoed sch super early today and kena cheated by the cabbie. SIGH. then met joel at bishan at 9 or so.. went to wisma macs for breakfast.. then walked ard went to crystal jade for lunch.. then went bowling... tt idiot said he very lousy.. then of the three games the lowest was 110?! idiot monkey with assluck. puii.. yahh then went to lucky plaza to meet huat jeremy yong kiak.. watched them play lan until i fell aslp. sian man. then went to mrt and meet max julia and ziyang. joel went off to meet his fren.. everybody suaning him say he go meet szu.. szuyu! if you really went to meet him.. then you're a super idiot fish!! then went to lido then ate and went home. jeremy yq and the ziyang werent sitting with us.. yahh.. dunno go until where liao. yeahh. then came home early today.. so guai of me right!!

sighh.. jus realised for the past few days i have been looking so haggard.. sighh abit druggie-looking summore.. SIGH. i need slp. sajc sucks....... argh. really hope ngeeann poly will accept me.. :/

ehh... anybody wanna crash sa to pei wo???? :/ max shd be crashing sa on weds... hahaa cus he cannot crash srjc to see his dear julia anymore after tmr.. haha.. if wanna crash sa then tell me okayy???

mm. wore sa uniform today. arghh. their sch is sucky lorr. the hips part is ALWAYS too big for me.. why?! i dunno... i have a big ass lor. puii. then went to kap to meet joel then went to ngeeann poly together to appeal. okay i went to appeal.. then umm. then we cabbed to my hse to hand my skirt to my maid then we went to wens place for bball. watched them play agian.. then played monkey and i played a lil bball.. yahh.. thats it.. then came home.. joel and i went to supermarket to buy food! ahahha.. yumm!! yahh.

blogger is fixed!! yayy! hahaha.. i blogger alot jus now but somehow it all disappeared.. -sniffs- kk found out smth i nv knew before frm sara... szu was actually crk for a while?!!?!!!!!!!!!!! my god.. i dont believe this.. must check with her again... yahh.. :/ gonna appeal to poly now.. but still dunno what t write in the letter... :/

argh. my msn keeps hanging.. kk shall blog in points again..

-went to sa to buy uniform
-returned weiyang money for szuyu
-szuyu! can you pay him next time.. so i dont hafta keep helping you give him money.. very mafan lehh
-went to bishan to meet joel first
-then wen
-then roy
-ate at mos.
-went to causeway pt
-bot max present.
-powerpuff undies
-socks with hearts
-a MAX toothbrush.
-went to his place
-played in btwn
-was the least seh-ed.. i thinkk
-wen huat roy also not tt seh
-julia wilson joel yq max were totally acting weird or smth
-funniest was joel..
-one moment say he very sane very sober next min slping liao..
-then wilson acting normal.. haha!
-umm. then played ps and played com too
-bishi bashi!!
-man u match
-fell aslp til halftime
-man u won 6-2
-played up down with max mom
-alot of us. super funny.
-cus jeremy said max mom fuck smth.. then everyone went HORR!!! then make him drink more.. he actually meant... FOUR.. the no.
-drank martell and baileys
-martell was gd cus i cldnt smell it.
-tasted damn smooth
-now my breath reeks of alcohol! why only ME!!!
-cabbed to bishan with wen rou joel
-roy's mom fetched me home frm bishan.
-tt's it..

1. What is your name? xiujuan.
2. What are you wearing? stnicks shorts. daph's sleeveless shirt..
3. What are you listening to right now? 98 degrees why.
4. What was the last thing you ate? err.. curry chick!!! YUM!!!
5. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? maroon.. cus i like pink.. but i think i chd be a more depressing colour.. so maroon..
6. Where do you plan to go on your honeymoon? lets see if i can get hitched first yea?
7. How is the weather right now? cant tell.. at night leh/
8. Last person you talked to on the phone? my mom's fren.. as in she called my hse..
9. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? the looks.. basically whatever stands out the most on tt person
10. Do you like the person that sent you this? ehh sab..? sure!
11. How are you today? sianned.. and sad too
12. Your favorite drink? milk and milo!
13. Your favorite alcoholic drink? ehh champagne...
14. How do you eat an Oreo? with my mouth...
15. What's the next CD you're going to get? i dunno.. but i know the last cd i got was a super sucky cd.. :( too ashamed to admit i own it.
16. Hair color? dyed.. to dark brown i guess.
17. Eye Color? blaack
18. Do you wear contacts? nope..
19. Siblings/offspring and their ages? weiliang weitse sec 3 and p5
20. Favorite month? november... its always the month tt i get the most money.. hehe my bdae..
21. Favorite food? chilli stuff...
22. Last movie you watched? 51st state...
23. Favorite day of the year? 15th nov.
24. Are you shy to ask someone out? nope...
25. Do you like scary or happy movies better? happyy.. why pay money to upset yourself.. or to scare yourself..
26. Summer or winter? winterr... best is if it snows.. sitting inside the house.. with hot cocoa watching the snow fall while lying in the arms of someone you love.. *sighs* sounds so happy huhh.
27. Hugs or Kisses? hugs.
28. Relationships or one-night stands? relationships.. duhh. if i were a guy then maybe one night stands cus i wld prob be thinking with another part of my anatomy..
29. Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate...
30. Do you want your friends to write back? i guess
31. Who is most likely to respond? errr.. i dunno.. wen maybe? she's free i thinkk
32. Who is least likely to respond? sabba! cus she send this to me
33. Living arrangements? with my familyy
34. What books are you reading now? gonna reread some books i guess.. maybe animal farm or another of my bro's ex lit books...
35. What's on your mouse pad? i've got no mouse pad...
36. Favorite board games? cluedo!.
37. Favorite magazine? her world!
38. Favorite smells?oceanus the bodyshop one.. cus it brings back memories.. happy memories... and umm some moschino one super cheap one... and ck crave.. for the times when i feel manly!! hahah yeahh..
39. Least favorite smells? garbage.. and when people ard me fag and stink up the air
40. Favorite sound? three softly spoken words...
41. Worst feeling in the world? guilt... it will eat you up alive.. :(
42. What's the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? i will prob think.. *yawns* go back ter slp
43. Favorite color? pinkk..
44. how many times do u let the phone ring before you answer the phone? as lil as possible..
45. Future child's name? have no idea..
46. Favorite thing in life? money.. and my daphie doggie.. it kinda makes me feel secure and happy.. :)
47. Do you like to drive fast? i dowanna die.. and i dowanna get fines...
48. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? yeah... duhh haha..
49. What's under your bed? dust dirt and crap.
50. What is your favorite number?31*


[ x ] Spell your first name backwards - neukweis
[ x ] The story behind your lj user name -...... no story...
[ x ] Where do you live - braddell view.. wanna come find me not...
[ x ] 4 words that sum you up - screwed and fucked up.

Describe Your

[ x ] Wallet - black. guy laroche. qte flat..
[ x ] Hairbrush - the bodyshop one.. but dirtyy cus i was bored and went to colour it...
[ x ] Toothbrush - white and orange.. oral b one.. jagged bristles..
[ x ] Jewelry worn daily - umm my diamond heart chain? yahh
[ x ] Pillow cover - white black pink... some cute bedsheet tt looks a lil funkyy
[ x ] Blanket - matching lah! obv.. who doesnt use matching bedspreads..
[ x ]Coffee cup - i dun drink coffe at home...
[ x ] Sunglasses - err i got qte alot.. some plain black one.. retro big pink ones. the kind cannot see thru type clear color and yellow shades...
[ x ] Underwear - err triumph sloggi? yahh...
[ x ] Shoes - nike shoes? addidas shoe? OOPS. my nike sch shoe's with esta and my reeboks in stnicks?!! HUH!!!!!!! ohh ummm. one black slipon 3 inch heels one black satiny 3 inch heels beaded slip on 1 inch heels no moreee...
[ x ] Favorite top - dun really have favourite.. i jus like the newest clothes.. which is a t shirt right now?! haha.
[ x ] Cologne/Perfume - the cheapo moschino one
[ x ] CD in stereo right now - err.. some cd daph wrote for me..
[ x ] Tattoos - nahh.. i'm so guai
[ x ] Piercings - one on each ear.. dunno if the higher up holes can still be poked thru anot.
[ x ] What you are wearing now - quiksilver sleeveless stnicks shorts
[ x ] Hair - let down
[ x ] Makeup - none right now..

WHO or WHAT (was/is/are)


[ x ] In my mouth - my tongue.
[ x ] In my head - this song.... +i wanna hold you till i die til we both break down and cry i wanna hold you til the fear in me subsides+
[ x ] you Wishing - things wld go back to the way they were..
[ x ] After this - toilet.. chg my pad....
[ x ] you Eating - nth
[ x ] your Fetishes - i dunno... ohh as dan used to say i got a slap fetish...
[ x ] If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason - i wld kill tanshuwei geraintwong wendyheng lohlieng helenchoo cheong and all the other bitches who nv let me have a moment of peace... or a year without detention since sec 2.. i hate you.
[ x ] Person you wish you could see right now - i dunno.. daphne..
[ x ] Is next to you - my bro.. playing his wc3... dunno what he likes abt it man.. but i jus realised tt my lil bro is not in a clan! haahh lousy! umm my other bro is dieu ggg or smth.. anybody play wc3 here??
[ x ] Some of your favorite movies - just married.. the core.. spirit the stallion of the cimarron.. and many more..
[ x ] Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month - mmm. 30th april. when the nex mth comes ard
[ x ] The last thing you ate - curry chicken
[ x ] Something that you are deathly afraid of - sigh. being all alone in this world..
[ x ] Do you like candles - those pretty ones yeahh
[ x ] Do you like hot wax - tt is sick reminds me of this movie i watched.. this super arrogant guy was jus dancing with this girl and brot her to this rm and asked her to wax him.. as in oral sex.. then she said okay.. but she wanna tie him to the bed and blindfold him.. so he took his pants off and was blindfolded then she poured hot wax on his dick.. YUCKK.. they dint show tt.. but you will geddit lahh yahh...
[ x ] Do you like incense - nah.
[ x ] Do you like the taste of blood - no... there's a metallic smell to it.. ruins the taste! ahahh
[ x ] Do you believe in love - yepp...
[ x ] Do you believe in soul mates - ditto
[ x ] Do you believe in love at first sight - no.
[ x ] Do you believe in Heaven - mmm.. sure.. heaven is when you're with someone you love deeply.. :) jus a happy day.. no squabbles.. nothing.. yeahh. :)

x ] Do you believe in forgiveness - yahh... you forgive those you love..
[ x ] Do you believe in God - nope.
[ x ] What do you want done with your body when you die - cut apart.. donate organs.
[ x ] Who is your worst enemy - same as sab. myself
[ x ] If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be - my poor hamsie tt died.. :(
[ x ] What is the latest you've ever stayed up - umm until nv slp at all lah
[ x ] Ever been to Belgium - nope
[ x ] Can you eat with chopsticks- duhh
[ x ] What's your favorite coin - one dollar coin.
[ x ] What are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to- hongkong.. tho not now.. only one i can think of rite now
[ x ] What are some of your favorite pig out foods - pop tarts campbell soup etc
[ x ] What's something that you wish people would understand - nth
[ x ] What's something you wish you could understand better - everything
[ x ] Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time - umm... i wanna see kang.. cus she owes me moneyy.. haha
[ x ] What's one thing you want to make happen for tomorrow - sch to be suspended indefinitely
[ x ] my mother thinks i am: always wasting my life away
[ x ] my sibling thinks i am: one thinks i'm smart enough. one thinks i'm bloody arrogant.. i think...
[ x ] my grandma thinks i am: shes dead
[ x ] my grandpa thinks i am: a gd and filial grandotter!
[ x ] my boyfriend/girlfriend thinks i am: i'm single now..
[ x ] your three best qualities - i havent got any gd qualities
[ x ] three worst qualities - too many
[ x ] three things you are often complimented for - err.. i'm tall? which is true. i'm smart? which is not true? umm and i'm err.. i dunno liaoo
[ x ] you get embarrassed when -....... there;s no wehn! ahahh
[ x ] makes you happy - when people cheer me up.. but i sorta isolate myself when i'm down i think.
[ x ] upsets you - when things dont go my way..
Yes or No


[ x ] you keep a diary = yes online
[ x ] you like to cook = noooooo.
[ x ] you have a secret you have not shared with anyone = umm i dont think so..
[ x ] you fold your underwear = ehh the maid?
[ x ] you talk in your sleep = yepp
[ x ] you bite your fingernails = yeppp
[ x ] you believe in love = yes


Last


[ x ] movie you rented = errr.. in sg got people rent movies mehh.
[ x ] movie you bought = frm hk alot leh
[ x ] song you listened to = human nature wishes
[ x ] song you've downloaded = umm. baby girl b2k
[ x ] CD you listened to prior to the current one = baby girl b2k
[ x ] person you've called = some missed call no. no one picked up
[ x ] person that's called you = the missed call person lorr
[ x ] TV show you've watched = sch start liao i dun think i got to watch tv at all :(

Do


[ x ] you wish you could live somewhere else = yeahh.
[ x ] others find you attractive = nope!! hahah
[ x ] you want more piercings = err dont mind
[ x ] you want more tattoos = dont mind either.. but you pay lah
[ x ] you drink = yeahh
[ x ] you do drugs = haah nope
[ x ] you like cleaning = yechh!
[ x ] you like roller coasters = hell yeah.
[ x ] you write in cursive or print = ahhh my writing is in a scrawl
[ x ] you carry a donor card = no.

Have You


[ x ] ever cried over a boy/girl = yeahh.
[ x ] ever lied to someone = duhhh
[ x ] ever been in a fist fight = nope
[ x ] ever been arrested = yeahh! :/

mmm.... went to sa orientation today.. at first think it was supposed to be 3 days.. but cus of stupid sars is one day only.. :/ zaoed after 2.. when they were gonna do the dance.. it was kinda fun at some parts.. but i am still lonely.. :( yeahh. then umm there were two bands playing.. one was not bad.. one totally sucked.. yeahh. then went to nyp to ask abt appeals with joel. the woman said hafta write letter.. so i'm gonna write it soon.. after i blog..

omg.. was jus reading blogs.. saw esta's blog! she said.. [[[went town with szuyu hannah and max. met the hair-in-his-eyes darryl. went lido to meet weiyang. szuyu was actually meeting weiyang. and we just tagged along. but we left them at 430pm to watch their movie.. errrr...]]] --- szuyu! you still dare say nth going on!!!!!! hahah its your 3rd straight day meeting him liao man!!! hahahahahahaah!!!!! and i asked you go nyp with me ydae.. and what did you say?! you said you going for cca fair then going for training.. you super zhong se qing you man!!!!!! idiot fish!!!

mm yahh. then went to bishan to watch movie.. watched 51st state... umm.. not bad lahh... yeahh. reminded me a lil lil bit of national security.. but its more cool and stuff lahh... samuel l. jackson was like so smart in the show.. as in... chemist mahh.. smart guy.. but abit of a weirdo... yeahh.. then we went looking for max's present.. but cldnt find anything.. so.. heck lorr.. yahh. and szuyu!! you're a super jian nu ren!!!!!!

ughh and i have a super busy day tmr lorr..
-go sa buy sch u
-go nyp hand in appeal
-buy max present
-go max party
ARGHH so busy. and to make things worse.. i jus got my damn period today.. :(

no matter who they follow
no matter where they lead
no matter how they judge us
i'll be everyone you need

-

no matter if the sun don't shine
or if the skies are blue
no matter what the ending
my life began with you

-

i can't deny what i believe
i can't be what I'm not
i know this loves forever
that's all that matters now
no matter what

ughh.. listening to sad songs..
reading sad stuff..
thinking abt sad thoughts..
feeling almost abit suicidal.. :(
i think i wanna go poly liao. heck about jc.
heck about the university or whatever..
:( i hate my life..
and i hate my points..
and i dont like sa..
i hate to feel so lonely.. :(
i hate to feel so helpless. :(

ummm... went to sa today.. was super lonely lorr.. sighh. tmr got orientation summore.. with my class.. ARGH. i DO NOT like my class. i think its sucks until dunno what.. sighh.. :( yahh then left sch to go cj to find szuyu.. but turned out to be a waste of my time... i like had to wait two hours alone for her.. went to slp somewhere near the coms downstairs.. SIGH. think i looked like a total idiot. :( but then again.. i cant help it rite... :( yeahh.. then ltr we went to town to watch national security.. not bad lahh.. alot better than iron ladies! hahah.. but i think the story abit draggy.. but thats just me.. :) umm yahh.. OH.. anywayy i really think there's smth going on btwn suzyu and weiyang.. haha.. she asked me if wanna watch movie with him and fren AGAIN.. err.. hahah!! then she abandoned me after the show to have dinner with peiyi and seetoh.. and this other ij girl. the first thing the ij girl said was szuyu is very pretty! hahahaha.. had dinner at bk with weiyang and fren frm cj.. he finally admitted that szuyu is chio! haha! yahh.. and during the show.. szuyu kept leaning towards me lorr.. dowan me to suan her anymore abt weiyang also dont hafta come so close to me right you sicko! hahah but i think i also touch her qte often.. umm this sounds abit sick... :/

i chged my blog add!!! yeahh.. so more people can see it.. before this got the - then very hard for people to see.. now its.. http://saccharinesweetness.blogspot.com dint wanna publish it so 'loudly' but wen pointed out to me.. that anyone can still link around.. :/ so no help lorr.. :(

parts of today i left out:
szu was a big fat liar
so was sab..
iron ladies was a stupid pointless sucky movie!!!
i got only 20 marks for sabs quiz..
and szu was hugging weiyangs sch bag and tshirt during the movie..

qn for szuyu: why hug the possessions when the guy is right next to you!!!!! hahah

jus typed a super long entry tt got deleted.. super pissed now.. shall blog in points again...

-went sa on time. :)
-found out i was in same class as candice chong
-happy!
-but my classrm's a container classrm.. puii
-wanted to appeal to chg subs..
-but chged my mind
-ate char kuay teow
-super nice
-sa's canteen is yi ji bang!
-zaoed sch ard 11 to meet szu at ikea
-walked ard
-wanted to buy this heart lamp
-but decided not to since i only had 60 with me tt day.
-ate at the cafe
-weiyang came
-he koped a whole toilet roll those huge huge kind frm sa
-sat ard abit more
-went to walk ard again
-felt lamp-postish
-joel came
-he bot hot dog for lunch
-cabbed to tiong bahru to watch iron ladies
-dumb show
-szu and weiyang were sitting super close to each other
-like couples man.. haha
-make me and joel feel like lamp posts
-played bridge after tt
-szuyu kept winning!!!
-then szuyu and weiyang went home
-one claiming the mom scold
-one say tired
-haha!!!!!
-me and joel went to bishan for dinner
-walked ard j8 alot..
-saw super alot of monkey stuff toys! haha
-had dinner at coffee bean after searching for a place damn long..
-took neoprints..
-came home
-after i bathed.. check my hp.. then joel msged me saying he left his hse keys at home
-stuck outside the hse or smth
-SO DUMB!!!!

ohh... left out some funny parts of the day.. umm firstly huat was dressed until damn beng lorr.. then next to him yq not so beng liao.. haha.. and at mos burger i ate butterfly prawns.. then joel say why you dont wanna eat the shells.. i was like.. you want you eat lah.. then i gave him 2 cprawn shells.. as in i tore the prawn shells off the prawn to give him.. hahah.. and he ate it!!! he ate it!!!

((all.i.need.in.this.life.of.sin.is.me.and.my.girlfren))

mmmm. got home abt half hr ago.. mmms.. feeling tired.. maybe cus i woke up early this morning to wake szuyu up.. only to find out she cant go out.. wah lao.. cheat me man... :/ then went online.. hmmm.. then wasnt sure if i shd go out ltr.. so stayed on for a while.. then decided to go at ard 12.. then rushed and rushed alot.. so umm met joel at bishan mrt at 1250.. he said meet there at 1230 when the time was 1245?! wth?? hahah.. then i rushed down.. to find tt he's not there yet?! yahh.. wah sehh.. super weird lorr.. as in when i was walking to the control station hafta walk past this place tt can sit ard one.. then got this 3 malay guys smoking then i was walking to somewhere around their direction and they were giving me this super creepy look.. eeyeerrrrr.. totally creeped me out.. and they kept speaking in malay... and dunno saying what.. DO I LOOK LIKE A MALAY!?!?! then after tt i looked on the other side got this whole grp of guys tt look qte young.. maybe sec 3 or so?? kept looking at me lorr.. as in they just staring.. all the time... CREEPY again.. then i called joel to ask him hurry up.. but tt idiot still tk so long.. umm yahh. then went to town to meet huat yq and kiak.. yahh.. max and julia were late.. by two hrs.. worse than me and joel.. haha but they were bai-tuo-ing alex.. haha.. yeahh.. had lunch at mos at take then we went to ps to catch the core nice show!!!!! go watch kk.. super exciting.. to kiak huat yq and joel i still dont see why they cant swim up!!!!!!!! max and julia dint watch.. they went pa-tuoing somewhere else.. ahah.. umm yahh then after the show's over went to centerpoint to look for them then went to lucky plaza to play pool.. and yanling shaun darren and hanqing came and joined us.. yahh. umm. i still feel cheated... i had to pay 8 bucks when i played only 2 games?! like wth.. i shd have zaoed earlier.. like julia... super cheated man.. :/ VERY VERY cheated.. very very.. then went to lido.. kiak went home.. ard 955 or so joel and i shared cab home.. yahh..
so now i'm home!! :) kinda slpy tho..

mmm. supposed to go neo's hse tmr.. but i rather go out... see how lorr.. hope szuyu and sab can go out... :) if not i think i'll go to neo's place.. cus i think after i go sa.. i wont be going much liao... i'm all alone in the sch.. dun even have anyone to have recess with.. go out what crap right...

mmmm. check this story out.. its kinda long.. but its not bad lahh.. yeahh.. and quite sad too.. cried abit at the ending.. but i think i cry at qte small stuff lahh.. including the mtv like show neo and i saw while we were at wen's place.. yahh.. :)

-my wishlist- [not in order of preference]

1. to get out of sa and go to another college that has more interesting combis
2. to go back to being a secondary sch student. so i can have more time to figure out what i wanna do with my life.
3. have the sweetest dream possible and have tt dream become reality.. :)
4. more realistically.. i want a new hp. colour fone and i dunno what else.. :)
5. also a new com.. to match my new mouse
6. new shoes.. the stupid sales woman cheated me with tt stupid 2 sizes too big shoes..
7. have the hols extended again cus of sars..
8. get more mature and less selfish.. [wont work]
9. get a new discman or md or smth.. my discman is 6 yrs old!! altho it still works. but STILL..
10. to have things go back to the way they used to be.. :(

eight songs that get stuck in your head frequently:
1. yong bang - ni shi wo zui ai de nu ren
2. m2m - girl in your dreams
3. elvis costello(?) - she
4. j lo feat ll cool j - all i have
5. backstreet boys - how did i fall in love with you
6. 98 degrees - smth i dint say
7. babyface - nobody knows it but me
8. christina aguilera reflection


four beverages you drink frequently:
1. choclate milk
2. strawberry milk
3. banana milk! (by dutch lady.. go try k.. yummy)
4. water...



five tv shows you liked when you were a little kid:
1. x men
2. batman! and robin
3. captain planet
4. t and j
5. soccer! when i was young i liked newcastle.. heh.



four places to go in your area:
1. my house..?
2. umm swimming pool?
3. j8?
4. braddell westlake sec..



four things you do when you're bored.
1. play com
2. watch tv
3. call someone
4. and definitely SLEEP



four things that never fail to cheer you up:
1. when everyone's just joking around. i'll get cheered up slowly.. :/
2. when i eat nice nice food
3. when someoen does swt stuff for me.. mmm. but not too often yahh. i'll tk in for granted.. :( like i did
4. when people care about me :)



four things you can't live without:
1. umm frens
2. family
3. computer?
4. and my bed and aircon..



about ten years ago *list three things*
1. i was six and a half yrs?
2. i hated sch
3. i learned piano! and gave it up.. the next yr..



about two years ago *list three things*
1. umm char was in our clique i guess.
2. i tot i was gonna retain
3. i was 14 and a half yrs?



about one year ago *list three things*
1. i was 15 and a half yrs old?
2. i was having my O's
3. daph was still in my life..



today.
1. i woke up early.. at 1145
2. i stayed at home and rotted
3. so i'm a mess and stinky too.. how else does rotted stuff look and smell..



seven things you love.
1. umm. family
2. frens
3. my rm
4. this com
5.my doggies bears and other toys..
6. ahh and lambchops!
7. umm. to sleep.. :) in dreams anything is possible.. :)



seven things you hate..
1. school
2. sajc
3. sngs
4. boredom
5. when i'm only growing sideways.. not upwards
6. when someone else is using the com
7. and when the tvs are being occupied at the same time.



seven things on your desk:
1. books and papers
2. chips and cookies
3. cash
4. presents frm daph
5. more presents from her
6. make up
7. and perfume..



seven facts about you:
1. fat
2. tall
3. overweight
4. obese
5. ugly
6. very fat
7. ohh.. did i mention fat?



seven artists/bands people should give a listen to:
1. -nil-
2. -nil-
3. -nil-
4. -nil-
5. -nil-
6. -nil-
7. -nil- [i dun go for artists?? yeahh. more of the songs definitely not avril]



three things you like about the opposite sex:
1. personality
2. looks
3. character



three things you would eat on the last day of your life:
1. ummm. soups! all kinds
2. ice cream all kinds too
3. and seafood.. yumm.. cooked french way or smth.. i dunno what way is it.. but french food has the most heavenly sauces!! -licks lips-



four things you'd like to learn:
1. surfing? or wadeboarding
2. mm. skateboarding? no i dont wanna be a sk8ter girl.. or sk8ter boi or anything related to the raccoon.
3. to slp in peace even when its noisy uncomfortable and whatever else there is
4. how to lose all my fats in one day.. :)

[my name is]: xiujuan
[height?]: 172.. :)
[in the morning i am]: either sleepy or slping
[all I need is]: more sleep
[love is]: when you were still here..
[if i could see one person right now]: umm. i have no idea.. only one??
[i'm afraid of]: i dunno. alot of stuff.. :/
[i dream about]: umm. i dun remember....


-have you ever ?
[pictured your crush naked?]: haha.. same as wen.. am i that sick.. umm some how i think some people will say yes.. :/
[been in love]: yeahh.
[cried when someone died]: yeahh.
[lied]: everydayy..


-which is better ?
[coke or pepsi]: vanilla coke!
[flowers or candy]: umm flowers.. they're prettierr...
[tall or short]: depends on what lah. opp. of wen.. i'd rather be short.. i think..


-with the opposite sex.
[what do you notice first?]: haha... i think i notice whatever is worst first... then after i run out of what is worst then i see the gd points? umm yah. i'm like tt.
[last person you slow danced with]: dunno.. ages ago.. my dad maybe?
[worst question to ask]: ummm. i dunno.. i dont think its much of the question but more of who ask it..


-who.
[makes you laugh the most?]: the TV! but its not a who right.. :/ then i dunno..
[makes you smile]: the tv too..
[gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: haha what is a funny feeling.. umm got lah when i see pictures of avril. i'll be thinking like.. yuckk. not again. and WHY do i have her cd... UGHH.
[who do you have a crush on?]: umm no one right now.
[easiest to talk to]: i dunno....?


-do you ever?
[stay on aim, waiting for someone special to IM you]: nope. id msg tt person myself. but no one i know has aim.. except me lah..
[save AOL/aim conversations]: nope.. got log irc.. counted?
[wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: abt 5 days each month.. or maybe more..
[cry because of someone saying something to you]: yarr.. i think everyone has right.


-have you ever
[fallen for your best friend]: no..
[been rejected?]: nope.... not in the relationship sense..
[rejected someone]: haha yepp...
[used someone]: umm yahh....
[been cheated on]: i dont think so..
[cheated on someone]: haha no..... i'm so faithful.. hahahaha
[done something you regret]: many times...


-who was the last person..
[you talked to on the phone]: some maid? called my hse asking for my maid...
[hugged]: my mom i guess... havent hugged anyone since O's results.. :/ so shd be my mom.. i think
[you instant messaged]: umm.. as i said.. no one has aim...
[instant messaged you?]: refer to the above...
[you laughed with]: umm my bro?? yahh... laughing at my lil bro..


-do you.. are you.
[color your hair]: yahh..
[habla espanol]: noo... i dun even know what it means...
[smoke cigarettes]: noo... its bad...
[obsessive]: about??
[could you live without the computer?]: i dont think so... at home.. the computer's my life... :( its probably my life anyway
[how many peeps are on your buddylist?]: what buddylist..? haha.. i know who's on wens.. ROY! ahah
[what's your favorite food?]: dunno.. got too many stuff i like.. but i miss one food the most.. havent been able to find it for damn long.. lobster bisque... YUMM!!!
[whats your favorite fruit?]: i hate fruits...
[drink alchohol?]: yahh...
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: umm i either cant wake up.. or i'm there at the wrong time.. nv seen one for my whole life.. but its pretty..
[what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?]: emotional.... i drive myself crazy sometimes.. haha like the song!!
[trust others way too easily?]: umm.. no?

my god.. guofeng got the highest on my quiz?!?!!!!! super tyco lor. how can that be... my god.. -shocked- hahah.. umm yahh. woke up at 1145 or so today.. soo super early.. still feel like sleeping but i dowanna slp.. cus if i slp now then tonight cannot slp. then tmr wake up late liao then tuesday night cannot slp again. and i'll be late for sch.. i planned it out so well horr.. hahah.. yahh ookayyy.. dudley dint go to play ball too.. i tot he was gonna play.. mmm. he said joel dint go play too...? i tot the monkey was gonna play.. mmm. okaayyy

umm i made a quiz too.. go do it kk.. at this site

mmmm. forgot was graces bday ydae.. so.. happy bdae grace! yeahh.. dint do much today... slacked away in front of the com.. yeahhh super siannedd

mmm.. went to wens hse.. neo was earlier.. umm then we watched malcolm in the middle til esta came and neo wen and esta went to cook.. neo came up shortly after.. and we slacked ard in the rm.. then lang came.. watched manu's match.. then went to have dinner that wen and esta cooked.. then ltr kang and neo washed up.. i was the only slackerr.. haha dint do anything at all except eat mann.. hahah... okayy.. then afetr man u trounced liverpool 4-0 went up to the rm.. played a lil mahjong.. kangwei was so super slow lorr. she kept playing with wens xbox.. she was playing the kind of arcade fighting game.. super lame lor. tt kind of game can play ANYWHERE?! haha.. then she was totally absorbed with it... crazyy! umm yeahh.. then ltr my dad came to fetch me.. then i'm home!!! ohh.. and this is dam shit. my mommy helped me to dye my hair today.. but i cant tell the difference at all?! cheat me!!!!

if it all falls apart,
i wil know deep in my heart
da only dream dat mattered had cum true..
in this life,
i was loved by you.

woahh. my bro has a serious attitude prob mann..... hahah.. he talk until like he wanna bash people up like tt.. but unfortunately if he even tries.. he's gonna get all banged left right top down.. haha.. mmm.. going to wens hse ltr.. or quite soon.. yeahh.. so sad.. i think someone threw away one of my favourite tees... daphs class tee.. ughh. super sad now lorr.. :(

Who are you?

ohh remembered smth kinda funny and lame.. umm. today at the void deck.. huat and roy were being lame and laughing at me and the alephant thing.. they were saying a for alephant b for belephant and suchh. then huat said E for eeeelephant.. as in he pronounced it like ee lephant.. super dumb!!

ohkayy.. today was siannn.. but not bad lah.. played cards super long lorr.. umm. i got to the bball court ard 3? and i went for a while then it rained so we went to the void deck. me wen roy joel huat yq. then played bridge daidee until 7? then they started to go off to play ball.. sat ard and slacked a while.. then played more cards.. wen went off a lil earleir then the rest went off at 9... yeah. took 156 to bishan again... and this time rd.. the ladies at bishan train station wasnt locked!! hahahah! okayy.. then joel pei-ed wo to supermarket to get food.. i bot 3 cup noodles and a big packet of chips.. joel bot mac and cheese not so big packet of chips and campbell select clam chowder!!! YUMM!!!!! i'm hungryyyyy... ohh anywayy.. i think in the supermarket tt time.. joel looks like he was my lil bro or smth!! haha!! tmr going to wens hse.. do i hafta bring cluedo?

((sorry))

for everything i did
and did not do
for saying everything i did
and did not say
for being unsensitive
for being uncaring.
for being myself.
sorry for screwing your life up again.
sorry for messing you up
after you've forgotten me.
sorry for everything.

somehow when i was younger... like sec 2 and 3 or smth.. i always wanted to be older.. but now.. i wanna be younger.. am i getting old.. :/ i'm facing the big seventeen soon.. in 7 more mths or so.. sighh creepy.. i'm too old!!!!!!!!!

reasons why i wanna get sars and be the next death in sg..

-you
-i'm fatter
-sajc
-you

stole this frm kiaks blog. he has a blog. link him yarr??

she
may be the song that summer sings
may be the chill that autumn brings
may be the mirror of my dreams
the smile reflected in a stream
may be the love that cannot hope to last
may be the reason I survive
the why and wherefore I'm alive
the one I'll care for through the rough in ready years

i'll take her laughter and her tears
and make them all my souvenirs
for where she goes I've got to be
the meaning of my life is she

-despite whatever i say.
-despite whatever i do.
-despite however i act.
i'm still in love with you.

tears fall from her widened eyes
despite her willing them not to fall
they slide down the cheeks
in rampant defiance
every word cuts into her flesh
her bones. her heart.
there is no one to wipe away her tears
the back of her hand brushes by her eyes
wiping away the wetness
it brushes away tears
the way she brushes away
anyone who offers to help.
she wants to stand alone.
to be strong
to be independent.
but she knows the moment you come
she'd go right back to depending on you.


sigh.
i really wanna get sars now.

kangwei!!!! you bluffed us!!!! cheated my feelings.. sighh.. we still hafta go back to sch on 6th april.. argh. dammit lor. i dont wanna go back to sa.. urghh. i hate to feel like a damn loner.. but thats what i am! ahhhhhh!!!! sighh.. what to do.. what to do.. :(

sighh.. i really seriosly think i shd persuade my mom or smth so i can chg schs.. sighh.. sa is really sucky.. moreover i'm in arts course doing lit econs geog.. what happened to my computing man!!!!!!!!!!!! argh. i dowanna do geog!!!! somebody save me... sighh.. szuyuu.. all your fault.. i tot you can go sa.. then i choose the combi tt's same as yours.. argh. save me

today went to watch the recruit.. at lido.. the plot is somewhat similar to infernal affairs plot.. yeahh.. but more complex.. and so in that sense. more interesting.. yeahh go watch it kk.. colin farrell is cute too! but i think eric is cuterr! ahh eric! oops. i'm behaving a lil too crazed.. yarr. kk.. and played bridge many many times.. haha. fun!! sat going over to wens place... to i dunno do what?? yeahh.. with kang neo esa and me... its like the five of us havent gone out for a looonngg time.. yarr. fives and odd no. as in. its odd if its 2-2-1 and its odd if its 4-1 its jus odd!!! okayy....

ydae went to wens place to watch bball but played the freethrows thing. hehe. cus i'm a lousy player and have lousy stamina strength and whatever else.. so i hadta do 3 pushups instead of 5 and i can do the girls style one... hahah!!!! yarr. then yarr. i did abt 30 plus??qte little if you consider the fact the guofeng was in front of me.. and then roy was in front of me.. yarr. ltr took 156 with joel to bishan and i was so damn suay.. urgh. read abt the details in joels blog.. but distrust the statements where he said he was nice.... yeahh.. okay lahh.. maybe quite nice?? i guess.. if you really stretch it...

not much mood to blog.. but this is the main gist of it. yeahh..

mmm.. woke up at one today.. super sianned... szuyu said she's sick so she's not gonna go with me to wens place.. idiot fish.. i think it might be cus of my flu bug tt she's sick?? as in i was a lil sick ard the time tt i saw her qte often?? yeahh.. jus maybe lah... ohh.. and i watched days of our lives today.. and.. ahh.. eric is soo cute!!! hahah... his real name is jensen smth.. yeahh.. okayy. everyone shd watch days of our lives to find out who eric is k?? he's sammie and carries bro marlena and romans son yarrr... ohh can carries qte pretty too! austin used to be shuai.. now he looks shitty cus he cant act. yarr. ahh eric is soo cute!! really!! go watch k!!

i made qte a few templates today.. the result of being too bored at home.. hahah.. go check it out yea??

discover what candy you are

((your.presence.stifles.my.enthusiasism))

and makes my dispostion unpleasant.. mmm went to meet wen and others at 4 plus? then went there not a while went to bishan liao.. damn sian. wen dint wanna go.. so she walked back.. her buddy obv went home too... no point going when wen isnt there right?? haha then went to food court.. again.. ate mee hoon kueh... then went home liao? dint even stay out for 3 hrs.. feel qte cheated. as in waste money kinda cheated... :/ yeahh.. qte sian lah. hope tmr will be better...