But here are some stuff that Sir Bobby Robson once said:
(It's shamelessly stolen off today's TNP!)

"We didn't underestimate them, they were a lot better than we thought"

"Alright, Bellamy came on at Liverpool and did well, but everybody thinks that he's the saviour, he's Jesus Christ. He's not Jesus Christ."

"They're two points behind us, so we're neck to neck."

"The first 90 minutes of a football match are the most important."

"We don't want our players to be monks; we want them to be better football players because a monk doesn't play football at this level."

"Dennis Law once kicked me at Wenbly in front of the Queen in an international. I mean, no man is entitled to do that really."

"I do want to play the short ball and I do want to play the long ball. I think long and short balls is what football is about."

Anyway, I'm lazy to type the rest. Go purchase your own copy if you haven't yet done so! TNP just costs 60c, and is the essential for all the EPL fans in SG.

And shame on you, if you don't know who he is.

And I'm VERY upset to say the least. The bastard owner of Newcastle fired the beloved Sir Bobby Robson. And the favourites to take over the manager's position, is no one other than Houllier?! I am aghast to say the least. Don't ruin my Newcastle like this! you dumb directors.

And yesterday's soccer was an utmost disappointment! They are NINTH, ninth, I tell you. On the bloody EPL table. Portsmouth and Liverpool have the chance to knock ManU out of the first half of the table, if they get a 1-1 draw, or 2-2 or 3-3 draw. This is so stupid. I mean. You blooooooody idiots. I'm so disappointed in my team. I can't talk about it anymore. Ugh.

I'm at the computer that I've missed for so long, holding a warm large cookie in my left hand, bending and sucking milo up the familiar green straw. Ignore the heat, and, life doesn't get very much better! :) Of course it can, but right now, it's pretty good. :)

I was just browsing through journals, and discovered a huge-mongous pic spam, that just made my day. Call me crazy, but whatever. :) I'd like to leave the webpage here, but because the pictures were so big, and SO many, I don't know if the host for the pics has limited bandwidth, and thus, by asking people who're not really interested to see the pics, I'd be depriving those who really wanted to see the pics of the pleasure of viewing them. Did this long long sentence make any sense? :

There's no school, no papers til thursday. I didn't even know it was teachers' day til yesterday. Well, how, lucky. Maybe I should go to the books soon. Soooooon.

Anyway, Happy (early) Teachers' Day! Have a nice and happy rest day ahead! And dear teachers, if you're marking my exam script, please be more lenient. I would be, very grateful! :)

I'm blogging really irregularly these days, but I can only do so while the parents are at work! So, yeah, I'll not be coming along to blog til maybe late Monday or Tuesday. I remembered thinking that I wanted to blog about something, but it simply slipped my mind while browsing through the net.

Anyhow, Singapore Idol wasn't a big let down yesterday. Jeassea is pretty and she can sing too. I never like Aretha Franklin's Chain of Fools too much, because when I hear people trying to sing it, then tend to lose control over their pitch and tone; but Jeassea Thyidor did it well. Why did Olinda Cho sing the same song as she did in the first round? That's allowed? I don't want David Yeo to get in. I mean, sure his voice is pretty alright. But, I just can't imagine him as an Idol. The look, the idea, Everything, is just well, wrong. He absolutely follows the Judge's comments to the letter, I feel like I'm watching a ugly version of Barbie or rather, Ken. Plastic. The other David (de Cruz) is probably a better Idol. Sure he can't sing. But hey, look at all the stupid boybands, in particular the huge F4 craze years back. I'm pretty sure David de Cruz sings better and looks better. Plus look at stupid bands like Comic Boys (or something!), like N'Sync who was rather popular. Why? I don't know! They sure aren't good-looking. (Note: I didn't mention Blue. The Blue guys are... hot. )

Olympics has a surfeit on cute guys I tell you. Too many.. here's one for example..


Tim Lobinger. German pole vaulter. Hot.. Yes? no? Yes?

Yeah.. Enough of Olympics, back to basics..






Speaking of which, Dan and I had a disagreement about Viggo, Orlando, Keanu Reeves, Tom Cruise, Hyde, Gackt and this ugly Douglas Oliviero-lookalike. And of course, he was wrong. Though the discussion's not over (according to him), but yes, I'm right. I always am. I refuse to acknowledge that I'm not.

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you...
I have been changed for good.

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore

Lyrics I shamelessly stole off someone else's blog. But it was so pretty, I just couldn't help it.

"The subject of sexuality doesn’t scare me. I find it funny. I find it entertaining. I think every straight man has the capability to have sex with another man. Don’t you agree?"

"If I meet a man I fancy enough to have sex with, I will."

Now, don't you just love a guy like that? I know I do.. ;)

Today was awfully uneventful, and unproductive. I watched lots of TV, and then came to my computer.. Secretly of course. No one's home save for me.. :) Caught Oprah, and lots of courtroom dramas, and now I'm watching Hollywood Squares.. God, I'm bored. And my nose hurts so bad, I can't stay in an air-conditioned room, and that really sucks. How can anyone live in this weather? And on some advertisement, I saw "Unity", the Olympics CD. Avril Lavigne sang in it?! Like, they should have hired me. Anyway, the ad for Stark Raving Mad's pretty cute. It's a comedy on StarWorld.

Yesterday's papers was a killer. Anyway it's over, so all's good. I've got no papers til monday, which is good. I missed the computer SO.. And staying home is freaky, I've just been stuffing my face ALL day. It's so detrimental to my physical well-being, or rather, my weight.

Does anybody watch Amazing Race? I think the bowling moms are so horribly annoying. Why, oh why can't they be eliminated?! And why is Colin such an idiot? Why is Christie putting up with him? I want Brandon and Nicole to win (I like curls), or else the twins..

Anyway, good luck to everyone studying, for Prelims and whatever other exams!

Me and my dramatics.. :/

Okay. Prelims has started, my Dad has so-called removed my keyboard, so I'm really not supposed to be using this. Just dropped by to say, I'll not be updating much.. Til maybe Thurs! :)

Bye!!!

Man U beat Norwich yesterday by a narrow margin of 2-1. It was disappointing. How can we do so poorly against a weak team who looked lost for the entire first half (save for Bentley's great attempt)? It was so disappointing. Anyhow, I fell asleep amidst the second half, and I didn't get to study at all for yesterday, because I was planning on studying after the ManU match. So I'm gonna have to study more today. :/ I have to finish microeconomics by 4! :

Liverpool beat Manchester City. City disappointed me. Even though I really don't support any of the clubs, I'd rather Liverpool lost the game. I liked Houllier the no-neck more. At least with him, Liverpool was guaranteed at best 3rd placing. :/

Oh it seemed forever stopped today
All the lonely hearts in London
Caught a plane and flew away
And all the best women are married
All the handsome men are gay
You feel deprived

Oh what are you really looking for?
Another partner in your life to
abuse and to adore?
Is it lovey dovey stuff,
Do you need a bit of rough?
Get on your knees

Yeah turn down the love songs that you hear
'Cause you can't avoid the sentiment
That echoes in your ear
Saying love will stop the pain
Saying love will kill the fear
Do you believe?
You must believe

Come and live a love supreme
Don't let it get you down
Everybody lives for love

-Robbie

War is not the answer... Lookit his shirt..

Ignore Karl..

;)

I've got a new template..
It isn't really a new template, because I was lazy and so, I stole my old template, and editted it. But well, the colours are different. And the picture is just a mass of words, which are still lines I stole from Communion, and typed out in tiny words, so I don't know if there's typo errors. But, really, who cares?

I've not blogged much these day, the urge to blog seems somewhat lost, and I have nothing much to say to the Internet. It's just really weird. Prelims are coming up ahead. And you know what? I'm the only person in my class who went to school everyday and had her attendance taken for the past week. My class are such an enthusiastic bunch, aren't we?

Prelims up ahead in 3 days. I'm partly looking forward to it, partly not. I've begun studying, but not as much as I'd like to. I still spend at least 6 hours at my computer a day, if I don't take a nap. I'm such a complete computer geek. I don't even know how I whittle my time away! It's getting pretty bad. I'm a little scared for it. I kept hearing stuff like, your A 's grade will differ from your prelims grade by one or two grades at the most, no more improving by 6 grades like I did at the O's. So I'm trying to study. Because I want to go to the University. It's really weird. I'm the most motivated now, then I have ever been in my academic life, and it still doesn't feel like I'm motivated enough..

Lead me to temptation.

I just caught The Apprentice on TV, and what on earth is Trump wasting his time on this when he could be better making millions with his time?! Anyway, Omarosa (or whatever her name is), is horrifically annoying. Though I must admit, it is pretty unseemly for a woman - Heidi, to curse so very fluently (I should stop). Omarosa reminded me of Condoleeza Rice. Who is really smart, but she's just really not likable. And they're both black, and ugly. Annoying. Don't forget that.

I'll be your sexual freak, of the week
I'll be your educational lover, your one fuck fantasy.

I'm pretty upset. While in the Reading Room today I sms dedicated a song, and I left school around 1, and they played my dedication. For the first time ever, and I had to miss it. It's so annoying. Stupid stupid stupid.

Listening to George Michael does weird things to one's mind. I'm quite far behind in my studies. I've resolved to study hard from tomorrow on. :) So I've got time to use this mass of metal and watch Singapore Idol in a while. It's pretty corny. But I realised all the adults don't have particularly good opinions of the show. Well, I don't care if the judges are humiliating, nor if they lack the verbal skill to deliver scathing remarks like Cowell does.

About school matters, Isabella did a horrendously stupid thing during Geography makeup lesson with Lian. It was a combined class with A41, and that's how Serena got to know about it. But basically, it either has to be an idiotic slip of the tongue, or a freakily bitchy thing to do. Either way, it is an unacceptable thing to do to one's classmates. Because the class had really poor attendance for the makeup, she told on a couple of the class, something along the lines of no one wanted to go for his classes because the class didn't complete his tutorials, and were hiding out in the Reading Room. Even though it is true to some extent, her remarks were utterly uncalled for, and unwanted. If it weren't for a couple of A41 girls who relayed it to Serena, we wouldn't even have known.

No one likes a snitch. Not even the person to whom you relayed your message.

To have a measure of pride in yourself is good, to love yourself, and to know that you are loved is good. It's all in having a healthy relationship with yourself. But there comes this point in time, where you begin to love yourself too much? And you would end up living in severe self-delusionment. Seriously, even if I looked at you from 10 different angles, I won't even find a single one in which you can be considered pretty.

Did I mention luo han fishes are ugly?

Baby I'm too lost.

This Blogger toolbar thing above sucks.
It takes up good space, and everything that it provides,
(Except the bit about going on to see a random stranger's blog),
Is totally unnecessary, because I have the Google toolbar,
Which is basically,
A more complicated version of the Blogger toolbar.
Blogger is El Stupidito.

Anyway, Lian Choo called my mom today
To sort of praise me.
Something like I've improved a great deal..
But the key thing is,
If I have improved, why did she give me a Fair for conduct?
Her mood swings are really weird.
But anyway, my mom was really freaked at first,
She was pretty scared and worried,
But yeah, now she's kinda happy.
Which is good.
So I'll try to be more respectful,
Mrs. Lee called my mom today. ;)

Moral Ed was alright,
Helen Tan was pretty upset at the poor showing.
There was quite a vigorous discussion going on during the lesson.
(I almost spelt it as viggorously).
But yeah, she wanted to conclude the lessons,
But because of the poor attendance,
She talked about apathy.
Which is alright, but quite boring.

Almost paradise, I'm knocking on heaven's door.

Stupid shits should not be allowed to live.
In fact they should never have been born.
It's really annoying when idiots are making your life harder.
I'd really wanna strangle them sometimes,
But I feel that they are not worth my shit.
Ahh, go fuck yourselves.
Okay, yourself. And your wonderful dimwitted mate.

A pretty picture of a pretty boy a day, Keeps the doctors around.. To ogle.. ;)

You are my godsend.

School has been really lax these days. What with Lian Choo's 'announcement' that we don't need to fake excuses for not wanting to go to school, and just hand her a letter from the parents stating that we'd be doing our studies at home. Quite a few people are not planning to go school on so many days. It's so weirdly unsatisfying. I have to be at school all the days because my daddy fetches me, and he simply does not believe that I'd study if left to my own devices. So, well, poor me. No one's coming online anymore these days, they're such Muggeridges (that's such an adorable name!).

Just caught Moore's film today, and it is good, and needless to say, very controversial. It is upbeat, attention grabbing, humourous, gut-wrenching, anger inducing all at the same time. I don't have anything else to say. Go watch it.

I'll be your sexual freeaaaakkk

Shit.
Football sucks. ManU is trailing Chelshit 1-0.
It's damn demoralising to watch my team not attacking properly.
And the defence is still as shaky. :(
Gudjohnsen scored.. He's such a bitch.

On the other hand,
Arse trashed the Evertonians 4-1.
At least my Freddie scored. :)

I thought that I don't belong

Okay, I don't know if that was a dream, but last night I had this really clear dream about the Olympics. I dreamt that Singapore's 2 female participants for badminton got knocked out, and all our country's hopes for badminton are placed on the guys, and some China guy whose name eludes my mind won the swimming medal. It's really weird. Yeah. Maybe I'm thinking too much about TV and not enough about scoolwork eh? I had another really realistic dream too, but the contents of that dream remains out of my grasp.

Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel
like I am home again.
Whenever I'm alone with
you, you make me feel like I am whole again.

Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel
like I am young again.
Whenever I'm alone with
you, you make me feel like I am fun again.

However far away, I will always love you.
However long I stay, I will always love you.
Whatever words I say, I will always love you.
I will always love you.

Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel
like I am free again.
Whenever I'm alone with
you, you make me feel like I am clean again.

However far away, I will always love you.
However long I stay, I will always love you.
Whatever words I say I will always love you.
I will always love you.

-The Cure:)

Like the man says.

A pretty good start to the EPL season! :) The first game's over, and Liverpool drew Spurs. :) I mean, I seriously expected a win over Spurs, given the change to Benitez, but well, I'm glad I was wrong. Anyhow, I'm frankly really disappointed in all the match predictions for Chelsea Vs. Man U, I mean, not one writer even expects a draw from Man U, they expect Chelshit to get a clear win over the 2002/2003 champions. What faith. Mid-way through the previous season (and many other seasons as well), TNP has this habit of describing my team as a true champion. Well, guess what, 7 months later, ManU has suddenly become the 3rd choice at best to be the 2004/2005 titleholders.

Well, at least I have something to look forward to - Rio's return in September, which will hopefully bring some modicum of stability to the defence. And I hope Robben bombs at Chelshit, like Forlan did at ManU. That stupid bitch called ManU a has-been, what a bitch. And I'm quite glad that Owen has left for Real. Gerrard should not have stayed either. Cisse is pretty good, he should leave too. But I don't want Viera to leave Arsenal, Viera is essential to Arsenal's victory last year, and basically, is Arsenal's main man (or at least to me, Henry is good, and god, but Viera is the essence).

If ManU can't win the Championship this season, my second choice are the Arses. But no way can it be Liverpool nor Chelsea. I hate to sound like such a deserter to the team I supported since years ago, but, I can't help it, Ljungberg is an Arse. (not to mention Pires) :/ And I'm such a crazy fangirl.

Been doing quite a bit of Google searching these days, and so I decided to thank the Google creators.. Even though there really isn't much point in doing so.. :) So, thank you Larry Page and Sergey Brin.

Oh yes, about the icky tuesday, I was feeling really down, insecure, weak, helpless. A little like what is one man to the world, an insignificant speck of lint of a dark overcoat; not in awe of the wonders of the world, but the feeling that I am lacking in so many areas. Felt like a person to whom no one seems to see, or only to be slighted. What could I possibly do that would even affect anyone? It was a belittling experience, not altogether unpleasant, but the rush of realisation and emotion, coupled with the aching loneliness, I cracked.

And to Sara: After reading Da Vinci Code, I must admit, it is overrated. In comparison to Brown's other novel - Deception Point, there is a certain lack of thrill. However, the information relayed through the book is more than a little fascinating, and it's still a good read, just not worth all that hype. Angels and Demons is a better book as well..

My computer's soundcard is spoilt. I'm really annoyed. 886 mp3s, and I can't even listen to one. Grr. Something's wrong with my Norton Antivirus thing, the programme is missing from its folder. My computer is finally dying on me, after all these long and (not so) faithful years. :(

All I needed was the love you gave
All I needed for another day
All I ever knew,
Only you

I'm feeling so lost..
Can someone hold me as I cry..

I don't know why, but I'm feeling really horrible. I mean, I should feel cheery and all, because I have more things to do and all, but I don't know. I still can't sleep properly, I wake up at a customary 4am, and sleep only after 5am. Then I wake around late morning, and lie in bed wondering why can't I sleep, and what I should do for the day.

There's just so many reasons why I'm not feeling too good, I don't know where to start. Maybe it's just a little stress from studies, of which I have not been doing any. The 4 day break felt so relaxing that it entirely left my mind that I had any work to do. Suddenly, it all came to me. Argh, I just feel so weird. And whenever I just sit around with no particular motive, so many thoughts come rushing in, and I can seem to dam them. I hate to say "I don't know" because it's the most cliched statement to say whenever someone is trying to sound desolate, but nothing else seems to come to mind. The worst line I'd like to see come from anyone is "I don't know anything anymore", therein lies the implication you once knew something. Argh. I have no inkling why my thoughts are running so wild. Self-pity is so disgusting, and yet I can't seem to refrain from indulging in it. Please, someone, take this feeling away.

I wonder why I stand for this, allowing emotions free rein.

Why do you see this need to do as I do? It bothered me greatly for a time, then I got used to it, something triggered this irritation again recently, and I can't seem to quell this irksome feeling since. I changed some bits to hopefully not feel this way, but I can't be rid of it.

I don't like to sleep alone. :(

We've tried it on our own, but deep inside we've known,
We'd be back to set things straight;

Went down to Raffles Hotel again for lunch today, the Long Bar Steak House.. It was, just alright, nothing too spectacular or anything. But my entire mood was ruined when I was drinking a latte and talking, and when I talk, I tend to move my hands around a bit. So somehow, I managed to knock my *hot* cup of latte which I held in my right hand, with my left hand. And I spilt the *hot* latte all over myself. I was like. SHIT. I was wearing a white sweater, and luckily, black underneath. But either way, my thighs felt so scalded, my tummy was saved from damage by my wonderful white jacket. Eugh. It was horrible. Thankfully, I was wearing that see-through-ish skirt that Wen got for me for birthday last year, and the coffee stains disappeared when I splashed water on it like, thinner over paint.

After that, I bugged my mom to buy my CDs, so we went down to Bishan to get them. (I was still wearing my coffee-stained top), and I bought a couple of books too. So anyway, I bought another Tolkien book, another LOTR this time, and I'm beginning to think I'm giving money to a dead man, however amazing a creator he is. Among others, I also got Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code, which I have been wanting for a while.

I just watched the National Day Parade, and towards the end, the tribute to PM Goh was quite saddening. I mean, I thought that it was pretty emotional and endearing. I've decided to come up with a tribute of mine own too, but that'll be later. But then again, who's interested to read my sort of writings.

I've always liked him as a Prime Minister. Before I moved house, he was the MP for my area. So whenever there were elections, he always made rounds. Not that he didn't do it on usual says, but being Singapore's political No. 1, it meant that he didn't have very much time. And even though he never had contenders for his seat, which meant he would win no matter what, he still campaigned and was extremely nice about it all...

He has visions for Singapore, and he had worked towards it. He led Singapore through economic restructuring, tough times, and good alike. To his stepping down in 3 days time, I'm sure it'll be extremely moving to so many Singaporeans, especially the newer generation, because to us, we feel that he was the one who has led us to this point; even though Lee Kuan Yew was the pioneer of Singapore. And I really dread the coming of thursday. Also, PM Goh, to me, felt like the foil to the dominance of the Lees. No matter what the Lees have done for the country, it is still unhealthy to have so much power.

In 3 days, PM Goh, will be SM Goh.. It just sounds so weird. :(

That's not my tribute. It's too corny. I'm watching SG Idol. It's freaking corny, but not bad entertainment.. :)

I'm up at this ungodly hour. Being so utterly bored, I have my only friend -my blog to talk to. And it's such a poor conversationalist. Oh damn.

I've been playing with photoshop a bit, downloaded a new version, only to realise it was incompatible. Stupid me, I should have checked before I downloaded. I'm kinda stupid like that.

Anyway, I've been watching the ManU vs. Arse game, it's not that bad yet, I mean, I actually expected ManU to play worse than this. I like Alan Smith! :) And he's extremely easy to spot on the field, just look for the platinum blond on the left. :) At least it's not such a waste that Leeds are relegated now, but it's still upsetting to be unable to watch them this season. Or maybe Arse is just not treating this US thing too seriously.

I'm not at the normal blogging page, I'm still playing with my toolbar that allows me to blog. It's such a novelty; I'm such a outdated geek. :) The font is big big Tahoma, and it looks really cute. Maybe I'll make my blog's font bigger soon! :)

I'm just really bored. May I add that for the entire day, practically no one came online? I was utterly bored. I played Jumanji with my brother, and watched part of the movie; also watched that new Ch U show. I can't stand that fat Honkie (at least I think he's a Honkie). The girl's pretty, not Ada Choi, the other one. I'm frigging bored. No one's talking to me, so I'm talking to my blog. Ugh. I need a life.

Each smile returned makes harder avoiding dreams that see us lying in early evening curtain shadows,

Just did some changes to the template, but it's mainly the picture. Yeah, it's a happy picture now. :) Words from Viggo Mortensen, I'm in no way such a wonderful poet. However, all ugly drawings are completely original, done with simple penciling and filling. Same colour theme as the previous though.

Oh yeah, about the previous post, in case someone decides they want to post that Commitment banner elsewhere, no HOTLINKING. Please use your own bandwidth. :)

^{Original
Here's the original, I editted it at some parts, but the most prominent is the missing first frame, the lesser bits, are the timings. It is intended for plea against removing the amendments to the marriage laws in the states, quite unapplicable for us Asians here. 'But I'm posting this because I simply support gays.}

My god. This is pretty cool. I'm like, blogging via my toolbar. Oh yes, it is pretty cool. And maybe I'm too bored that I'm so easily amused, but what the hey. :)

Will you still love me tomorrow?

I can't seem to stop posting lyrics these days. It's just, really weird. My daddy left a huge stack of resumes for me to go through; the resumes are all applying for his job, sort of as an understudy, and to take over my daddy's post when he retires. I don't like going through it, because it's like, replacing my daddy's job. It feels cruel.

So I flipped through about 10 resumes, and I didn't want any. 1 had an accountancy degree, 2 had business degrees, 2 had diplomas, 1 had a Malaysian education, 1 is a Malaysian, 1 was from JJC who went to UK to study. Only 2 had skills on how to use Lotus, less than half could claim ACCA as a qualification. (both of which are quite basic requirements for an auditor I think.) Basically, only 1 sounded quite decent. But it was alright, there's still at least 60 more.

But in essence, I don't want to do any shortlisting. Although it does give me some sense of power. I mean, some of these people are unemployed, and me, some nameless seventeen year old kid somewhere gets to decide if they're getting a job. There's a modicum (once I spelt this word really wrong) of power in it eh?

Tomorrow's National Day, I thought it was today. Ooops. Silly me. It's the middle of the long holiday, and I haven't done any work yet. Damn. I need to start somewhere.

It's a lot
It's a lot
Like life

There's a new game
We like to play you see
A game with added reality
You treat me like a dog
Get me down on my knees

We call it master and servant
We call it master and servant

It's a lot like life
This play between the sheets
With you on top and me underneath
Forget all about equality

Let's play master and servant
Let's play master and servant

It's a lot like life
And thats what's appealing
If you despise that throwaway feeling
From disposable fun
Then this is the one

Domination's the name of the game
In bed or in life
They're both just the same
Except in one you're fulfilled
At the end of the day

Let's play master and servant
Let's play master and servant
Let's play master and servant
Come on master and servant.

Kinky. ;)

Living on feelings touching you I feel it all again

Yesterday was the National Day Celebrations, it was boring for most part, quite a number of teachers brought their babies.. Lazy to elaborate. Lin Jun Jie made a surprise appearance, and I never knew his was this popular that so many left their seats to go take a closer look.

After which, a couple of us went down to Harbour Front for lunch, I cut my hair, but it's not much different, then Peishan and I went to town to catch King Arthur (yes, again). I was bitching throughout the movie, and completing the lines of the characters. Poor Peishan. I bought The Silmarilion too, was debating between this and the Da Vinci Code, in the end, Tolkien won out. And I'm horribly broke now. :/

Woke up at an achingly early 6+am, only managed to slumber again at 8+am. But I fell asleep early yesterday night; was feeling so restless at the computer around 8, went to the bed and read the index bits for The Silmarrilion, and the bit about the Rings of Power, and fell asleep soon. Just had tuition for Econs because my tutor was sick the previous time. I think I'm having diarrhea soon.. :(

But I feel the rhythm of your body close to me

Wen finally sent me the song I wanted for weeks now. Listening to it brings a smile to my face.. :)

If imitation is the best form of flattery, why don't I feel the least bit flattered? Instead, I'm feeling an understandable annoyance, at least I think it's understandable. Are my expressions that interesting that there is a need to emulate them? Elva is very pretty, she has quite a sexy voice too. I want her voice.

National Day celebs tomorrow, I'm gonna wear red. I took my brother's small shirt to wear, which is still L-size, he's damn skinny, but he wears XL, real weird. Let's all be patriotic and sing some song. Oh yea, what's this year's National Day song? Y'know, last year and the year before's were sung by Stefanie Sun?

When the earth was still flat,
And the clouds made of fire,
And mountains stretched up to the sky, sometimes higher,
Folks roamed the earth like big rolling kegs.
They had two sets of arms, they had two sets of legs.
They had two faces peering out of one giant head
So they could watch all around them
As they talked; while they read.

And they never knew nothing of love.
It was before the origin of love.
The origin of love

And there were three sexes then,
One that looked like two men
Glued up back to back,
Called the children of the sun.

And similar in shape and girth
Were the children of the earth.
They looked like two girls rolled up in one.

And the children of the moon
Were like a fork stuck on a spoon.
They were part sun, part earth
Part daughter, part son.

The origin of love.

Now the gods grew quite scared of our strength and defiance
And Thor said,"I'm gonna kill them all
With my hammer, like I killed the giants."
And Zeus said, "No, you better let me use my lightning,
Like scissors, like I cut the legs off the whales
And dinosaurs into lizards."

Then he grabbed up some bolts
And he let out a laugh,
Said, "I'll split them right down the middle.
Gonna cut them right up in half."

And then storm clouds gathered above into great balls of fire
And then fire shot down from the sky in bolts
Like shining blades of a knife.
And it ripped right through the flesh
Of the children of the sun and the moon and the earth.

And some Indian god sewed the wound up into a hole,
Pulled it round to our belly to remind us of the price we pay.
And Osiris and the gods of the Nile gathered up a big storm
To blow a hurricane, to scatter us away,
In a flood of wind and rain, and a sea of tidal waves,
To wash us all away, and if we don't behave
They'll cut us down again..
And we'll be hopping round on one foot
And looking through one eye.

Last time I saw you, we had just split in two.
You were looking at me. I was looking at you.
You had a way so familiar, but I could not recognize,
Cause you had blood on your face; I had blood in my eyes.
But I could swear by your expression,
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the one down in mine.
That's the pain,
Cuts a straight line down through the heart;
We called it love.

So we wrapped our arms around each other,
Trying to shove ourselves back together.
We were making love, making love.
It was a cold dark evening, such a long time ago,
When by the mighty hand of Jove,
It was the sad story how we became lonely two-legged creatures,
It's the story of The Origin of Love.

That's the origin of love.


Read the lyrics. They're really powerful, and really wonderful. :) It's written by Stephen Trask.

You're my religion, you're my church

My mom doesn't want to give me money to cut my hair, she says my hair is still very short. I'm very annoyed to say the least. Should I use my own money? Or should I just not cut my hair? I have this bit of ends which is really damaged. It feels like, well, hay. Really sick, even if it doesn't look that way.

And I'm very irritated at this disgusting tutor who wants to have tuition at 10 in the a.m, a time for the dead to rise. Crazy, I said at least 12, and he said 11. Screw him and all the idiots who wake up early. And I just remembered I have essays to do. GRrr.

I just wanna be where you go.

I wish I didn't come home so soon. Time is crawling by. I'm feeling almost desolate. Sitting at the computer doesn't seem to assuage any bruised feelings, it only serves to alleviate the was I feel right now. Maybe I'm just lonely, maybe I'm just sad. But I'll cross my fingers and hope that it's not so. Maybe it'll all go away.

But I wished someone, had talked to me like I wanna talk to you,

We had a talk about marriage again during Moral Ed today. Today was about the vows you take, and about co-habitation. It wasn't particularly illuminating, but the general consensus, I think, is that there's nothing wrong with co-habitation. Oh, and pre-marital sex.

Basically, only Isabella admitted to thinking that pre-marital sex was alright. Everyone else simply thought that it was wrong, or they did not have the nerve to admit to it. But the question that was posted could've been read in many ways. If it was okay for you to partake in p-m sex, or for others to do so, and also if it was okay if your future partner does so. But I must admit, if you've had it with someone, if you see that person again, you might have this awkward feeling that, this person has seen me naked. Maybe it's the traditional asian values which we adhere closely to, that makes p-m sex not be accepted with as open arms, and not as much for religion. I've known some persons online who have no compunction about mentioning their affairs, one-night stands, yet it does not make them any less religious. It is just, perhaps, the bible or any other scriptures you use, is a little outdated. I think in Leviticus, there's this verse or something that goes, thou shalt not eat shellfish (or something). I'm not too knowledgable about the bible, in fact I know almost nothing, but the shellfish bit also refers to shrimps. So does it mean, to be a devout Christian in which you follow the bible's word closely, you have to obey that as well?

But one thing to be sure, you cannot change the way you've lived so far, you can only change the way you will live from this day forth.

I'll finish this tomorrow, my daddy's bugging me to go off.

I don't know what to blog, so I'll just leave more lyrics..

Loneliness
Is a place that I know well
It's the distance between us
And the space inside ourselves

Not the whole bit though, just this...

Who am I to blame you, for doubting what you feel?

I know I'm really overdue here, but I realised everyone commented a lot on the issue Helen Tan talked about last week - Marriage, so being the sheep I am, I'll go along with this fad. Figure I'll go about this in a similar fashion as the fatty did, because well, I hate to admit, it was the best way about it.

We were asked to give the first word that came to mind when marriage was mentioned. And at that point of time, it was a bit of a farce for me, I would have said sex no matter what the topic was, because of the conversation prior. But to think about it now, marriage to me, is associated with pain and acceptance. Maybe I'm being pessimistic about the part about pain, but marriage is about the joining of two lovers in wedlock, and it seems hard to not associate pain with it all. Mainly emotional hurt can exist in many way; your lover can hurt you, you can hurt your lover, but the worst kind is when you hurt them, the guilt and remorse you feel (as mentioned by fatty, I'm shamelessly changing the words, but retaining the meaning).

Acceptance because marriage is a sign that you know your lover's flaws, yet you're willing to take the good with the bad. To love, does not mean to accept, the way marriage accepts. You can love, and yet at the same time, you can hate. Hate the way your lover does somethings, or responds to them. Hate the attitude, hate their history. (yeah, you get the drift) But more than you want to get away, you stay, because it is the lesser of two evils. But marriage, to me, is when you love someone completely, not to the extent that you're blind to their flaws, but to love someone so completely that you're able to reconcile their flaws along with beauty, and accept it all.

I once thought marriage is for the ducks. It wasn't necessary, but I think it was said mainly to spite the bigoted society. But it must be wondeful to grow old with someone you love, with a legal name, legit relationship. It may be okay to say I don't need the piece of paper to prove anything. But marriage is more than a piece of paper. I believe it's the knowledge and the fuzzy warmth you feel in you when say, he's my husband (she's my wife). Be it a claim of possession or the state of communion, the 8 letters is more than just a paper.

If it all sounds like a fairytale, maybe it is, but don't spoilt my fantasies right now, not when it took me so long to get them back. They always say, (they being, whoever the people who came up with the sayings) naivete is for the fools, not practical and stupid, the naive will only end up hurting; but to quote Nermal (from the cartoon Garfield), what's so good about being cynical?

The class also spent time on abusive relationships. But it's pretty self-explanatory. We went on about how unhealthy it is, and how some people don't get out of the relationship because they believe that they have no choice. Partly because they cannot get out, partly because they believe that no one else would want them. One point that circled my mind that Mrs. Tan didn't point out was that, perhaps the abusee(?) still believes that she/he can change the abuser, and make him/her loving once again. Sometimes, idealism has to be shattered in order for a person to be made whole. Kind of ironic huh.

Pauline mentioned money. It is infinitely practical, and I believe that it is a very important factor. So many times, I was plagued by doubts about cash flow while in a relationship. Perhaps I was overly pragmatic, planning too far into a future that probably won't exist; but it is too late for regrets, again. I'm materialistic, of that much I'm certain. But I don't need extravagance, though it would be nice, I just want stability and the ability to provide my children with enough. I've been living a lifestyle that brooks no requirement to work, if I wanted something, all I needed was to ask. I have enough, perhaps, I have too much.

I mentioned sex, because I was perhaps, too honest; everyone one else who partook in the conversation earlier came up with something else. Sex or the lack of it is an integral part in every relationship. Sometimes, it can bring a couple closer, other times, it tears them apart; but mostly, if the time ever comes for the two to be parted, it will affect their future partners and relationships. Perhaps it's best to withhold all til after the exchange of rings.

Is marriage indeed sacred? If it be so, then why are divorce rates increasing? Do we experience more problems? Or are we getting married too prematurely, and lack the capability to make it last? Or maybe it's just the age where women are coming out in their own, with liberals and the talk of equal rights; the modern woman knows how to stand up for what she believes in, previously they accepted staying in an unhealthy marriage simply because they didn't know how to get out of it. Or maybe social conventions are different now.

Religion is making a comeback. I'd best go dig out a bible to read. I had a child's bible once, it was full of pictures; but I should probably find my brother's.

That's about it for now, I spent quite a bit of time on this.. I'll try to blog about tomorrow's Moral Ed topic tomorrow.

When love was young and new

I got a flooble chatterbox. It's on the right side. I found the comments thing with each blogger entry a little annoying, that you have to click so many times to get to leave something. Moreover, I kept finding annonymous comments.. I'm still keeping the comments thing, just in case flooble got screwed up, and as I recall, there was a period of time, it was very.



I made a doll, which initially started out to be me, but I couldn't find matching clothes that resemble what I usually wear, so I let myself/my doll wear an autumn-ish ensemble I'd wear if I had the chance. The stockings are pretty cute eh, but mostly I like the jacket! And I gave myself pretty hair, something I don't have.. :( And I'm not so slim, nor so cute. :(

Make your own doll!

If you want to post the picture of your doll, like me, you have to print screen, and crop the image in Adobe or whatever you like to use, and upload it on your own bandwidth. :)

In the middle of the night

I go walking in my sleep
From the mountains of faith to the river so deep
I must be looking for something
Something sacred I lost
But the river is wide
And it's too hard to cross.

Even so I know the river is wide
I walk down every evening and I stand on the shore
I try to cross to the opposite side
So I can finally find what I've been looking for
In the middle of the night

I go walking in my sleep
Through the valley of fear
To a river so deep.
I've been searching for something taken out of my soul
Something I would never lose
Something somebody stole.

I don't know why I go walking at night
But now I'm tired and I don't wanna walk anymore
I hope it doesn't take the rest of my life
Until I find what it is I've been looking for
In the middle of the night

I go walking in my sleep
Through the jungle of doubt
To the river so deep.
I know I'm searching for something
Something so undefined
That it can only be seen by the eyes of the blind
In the middle of the night.

I'm not sure about a life after this
God knows I've never been a spiritual man
Baptized by the fire I wade
Into the river that is runnin' to the promised land
In the middle of the night

I go walking in my sleep
Through the desert of truth to the river so deep
We all end in the ocean
We all start in the streams
We're all carried along by the river of dreams

In the middle of the night
I go walking in the,
In the middle of a ...


- BJ

I love his lyrics. Not just this song, but, well, almost all. :/ Which is pretty sad, because his songs aren't too happy..

Give me time to care

I got home early today, skipped a couple of lessons. It's all legit though. Had MC for today actually, but I was trying to be hardworking, though I don't think I particularly succeeded, so I came home. Took a short rest, and now I'm using the computer for a short while, before I go to rest again. It's such a stupid coincidence that my tutor fell sick, so I have no tuition later. I feel cheated. My schoolbag was so heavy. :(

There's so much homework to do... It's like a never ending stack of work that the teachers decide to all pile up for us to do so that they can mark it over the long weekend. Such cheaters. So anyway, on Friday we can wear red t-shirts down to school, but you have to wear school skirt or pants. Like, huh? How to match la? But I have an idea, that I'll kope my brother's shirts to wear, he has tonnes of red because I got them for him. And I like red..

Post some lyrics later. While dressing for school, I heard River of Dreams by Billy Joel over Class 95, and then in the car, I heard For The Longest Time by the very same, over Gold 90. What's up with me and BJ? It's like, the radio knows me best. ;) So now, my entire playlist is filled with his songs. My favourite is still Piano Man and Lullaby. But I think the song that is most popular among, well, my generation is Just The Way You Are.. The wonderfully sappy love song.

Why am I so-called introducing BJ in my blog? Like a few days back I was promoting UOB. I'm weird.

You're the inspiration.

Now I can't stop listening to Peter Cetera. :) But I have SO much homework to do, it's unbelievble. :(

Anyway, today after I went to see the doctor, while I was on the cab home, the cab driver linked his DV to a TV screen, and was watching Spiderman 2! What a cheater bug. I bet he brought his DV into the cinema to film it. But, anyway, I had fun watching. :) It's quite hypocritical eh? Reached home with a horrendous headache. The whole world was spinning and pounding. Luckily, it disappeared after I took a nap.. :)

More good news, my handphone's back! And I found my Famine Camp Cert, and I got my mom to buy all my chocolate vouchers. And now I'm kind of hungry.. For chocolates. I'm going to buy myself some tomorrow! I'm really bored and weird. I think I'll be off to do homework later around 1030. :)

If you search for tenderness, it isn't hard to find.

Shit. I spoilt my handphone, or rather it spoilt itself. It was working when I woke up at 6.40am, but when I checked it at 11am, it was already spoilt. Maybe I fell asleep on it, and given my new and very heavy weight, it was flattened.. The phone was switched off, and it's like, if I try to switch it on, it will simply switch itself off automatically. Such a lousy phone la. Samsung sucks. So now, I have no handphone. So, does any kind soul have a spare phone to lend me til I fix the phone? Or preferably buy a new one, although I must say the possibilty of getting a new phone is quite low.